Is this real life?

I had the worst morning of my life. I found out, it is possible to give your self a bloody nose! Here is how this morning went down.

I woke up ready to start another day. Upon standing up I realized, "Oh no, I feel like throwing up." So I just take it easy and start my morning routine. I was at the part where I condition my hair and then wash my face.

I start washing my face and then BAM! All of the sudden my index finger is slicing the inside of my nose. I say, "Ouch!" Then I touch my nose look at my hand and my hand is covered in blood. Side note: I don't do well with "medical things" that have to do with "unplanned bodily fluids." I was not expecting this morning to have blood all over my hands. As I said I was already nauseous and the gushing blood sent me over the edge. So I try to stay calm and rise off my face off and then I touch my nose again and there is still blood.

At that point I realize I'm going down. Either I am throwing up or passing out. So I try to breathe and stay calm and then I sit down while trying to not let the conditioner run into my eyes while holding my nose to make it stop bleeding.

Meanwhile Josh comes in and is like, "WHAT happened? Why are you sitting there?" I explained how I cut my nose. So naturally he wants to see it. Then it happens, he touches my nose with his finger. His finger smelled like the worst thing ever. I can't even describe how bad it smelled. And I'm sure Josh wouldn't want me to describe it. My gag reflexes go off and I start dry heaving and gaging! I really thought this is it. I'm going to barf in the shower and I'm going to barf all over myself because I'm sitting down.

Luckily that is where the story ends. My nose stopped bleeding and after eating breakfast I felt better. It is a funny/not so funny if you are right there in the moment. But I think its comical now.

To top the morning off I spilled my breakfast drink packet on the kitchen floor and then watched Yeti scratch at it making it a bigger mess. Then I was using the apple cutter and as I was pushing down on it I rammed my head into the cupboards. At that point I thought I should just go back to bed and cry. But I didn't I went to work.

The End