Monday, May 19, 2008

The Man, the Myth, the Oldest

Natalie and I were able to visit with Matt this weekend. He was on his way to Idaho to treat some patients from mom and dad’s ward. It was fun to spend time with Matt, even though it was short. We gave him an inflatable bed to sleep on and a Subaru to drive in, so we figure we were being a good brother and sister-in-law. We had some pretty interesting conversation. Matt is always the source of fun conversation though. He told me about Jason’s wicked snowmobile wreck this weekend. I guess Jason was climbing a ridiculously steep hill (no surprise there) and his sled over exerted itself and flipped out from under Jason. This was in no way foreseeable by Jason, the sled just simply had too much horse power (may be that second nitro-fed supercharger wasn’t necessary?). Anyway the sled bucked Jason off and then fell back down on him and smashed his hip pretty good. This was one of the few times that Jason quote “Thought I was going to die,” but only for the split second the sled’s 135 inch track peeled out on his head at maximum RPMs. Jason emerged unscathed for the most part and I’m sure he got the whole thing on film. Apparently he has a pretty nasty bruise; Matt described it as the craziest “fluorescent green” bruise he has ever seen. I so wish I could have seen that. That got us to talking about how much of a rock star Jason is. The man is hardcore to the max. I’m sure we all have our favorite Jason stories. Working with Jason was awesome because I was privy to some pretty fantastic stories about some sub-contractor thinking he could get away with skimping on some material (oh, you poor fools, your kung-foo is not strong). Jason is the best story teller in the family. I think that is an un-refutable fact. The man can spin a yarn out of his visit to any gas station in south-eastern Idaho.

Some of Jason’s greatest hits (by topic):

Any story involving Don Bosworth. Ask Jason about Don making him straighten nails, classic!
Snowmobiling antics and/or conquests. Always a crowd pleaser (usually accompanied with video).

Funny stuff Mitchell or McKenna have said or done. Granted most parents have funny kid stories. Ask Jason about the time Mitchell relieved himself on Dave, on second thought you should just ask me about that one.

Fishing, boating, or hunting stories. My personal favorite is the story about him fishing a half frozen, almost dead, drunken Indian out of the Snake River. Priceless.

Church stories. These are awesome. Jason would be (and was) the greatest Elders Quorum President of all time.

Indeed we have a tremendous treasure in our oldest. Matt and I were saying that Jason is like the Bear Grylles of the family. If anything goes down, like Russian and Cuban terrorists invading America, Matt and I conclude that we are heading to Jason’s house. Jason is awesome. How can you not love the guy? If you ever need good advice about anything, call Jason. I speak from experience. I don’t think I’ve made one serious or major decision without talking to Jason first, and you know what, he has given good advice every time. So I guess that makes Jason like the Bear Grylls and Alex Trebek of the family.

5 comments:

Hilary said...

Great post. I wanna hear the Indian story sometime.

The Wallace Family said...

I don't think I'll be able to read your blog at work anymore. Laughing out loud in a cube farm is not conducive to moving up the corporate ladder. My side hurts.

The Wallace Family said...

We all love Jason, it's true, what would we do without him. I have found myself tell stories of him too and feel like I have to preface them with a description of him which takes to long so the story is no good any more.:)

Carrie said...

Nicely said Josh. What's funny is that you could post anything about our fine brother in the Cephaloblog or any other blog/ cyber world and he will never see it. That man deals only in the world where pen and paper rule. A true incarnate of Mr. Chuck Norris armed with a toolbelt and a turbo charged diesel truck.

The Wallace Family said...

The toolbelt and turbo charged diesel comment is very true. I think the picture of Jason is incomplete unless we also note that he has more types of guns than Baskin-Robbins has ice-cream flavors. Which is why the Wallaces will try to beat everyone to his doorstep when the invasion by hostiles does occur. I want the automatic.

Daren