For immediate release—Area couple purchases first home against all odds

Josh sent this email to our families yesterday, so i thought it would be a good idea to post it here.

Bountiful, UT—Area couple, Josh and Natalie Ormond, have officially purchased a home. At approximately 3:45 PM the home loan was processed and recorded by Davis County officials. "We are thrilled, tired, and grateful," said Josh Ormond upon learning his dream of home ownership has come true.

The Ormonds were originally intended to move into their new home last Saturday. However, due to unforeseen incompetence by the underwriting department at eLoan of Paradise Valley, CA, the Ormonds were unable to move in as scheduled. "I was so upset I was shaking," recounts Josh Ormond. He continued to say, "Natalie tossed and turned all night and called out 'You suck JP!' several times in her sleep."

When asked what he plans to do now, Ormond stated, "First, I need to locate the box labeled 'pots and pans' so Natalie and I can prepare food for the coming week. Next I need to find the 'food' box."

After the extreme frustration and anxiety of purchasing their first home, the Ormonds plan to relax as much as possible and begin moving small objects in to their new home. They also plan to look for a washer and dryer throughout the final week of October.

We are really happy and can't too move in on saturday. Thanks for sympathizing with us!

We don't like JP

So, remember how TODAY we were supposed to be in our new house? Yeah that didn't happen thanks to JP(the guy in charge of our loan who is incompetent). We are bitter about this.

Here is the story . . . Two fridays ago JP told Josh the loan had gone to underwriting and everything was done. Before that almost every night we were sending him: bank statements, W2's, pay stubs, work history. etc. And just when we thought he had everything he needed something else. It was quite ridiculous. Then monday he emails Josh and requests yet another pay stub for me. (We have seriously sent him about 100 documents at-least once, and then usually again because he lost them or forgot to tell us to sign them) Then on Monday we find out that my previous place of employment wasn't responding to any of his emails or faxes to verify my employment. Then Tuesday he said he couldn't figure out any if our deposited checks in our bank account. ALL of the checks said in out bank statement that they were pay checks. He couldn't match the words that spelled out our companies name and connect them that they were pay checks. Unbelievable! So all of that was taken care of Tuesday night. We were stressing about all of this because the next day wednesday were supposed to sign. So Wednesday comes around and we don't get to sign because the loan isn't finished and he blames this on underwriting, but it was HIS fault because he is in charge of everything. So we are told Thursday we will sign.

On Thursday morning Josh calls JP and he says the loan will be done around noon. Then we make arrangements with our realtor and the title company to meet at 4 to sign the papers. We all get there at 4 and JP hasn't been answering his phone or emails from anyone and the papers STILL aren't ready!!! We were all worried that we wouldn't sign that night, but after 40 minutes of waiting the title company gets him on the phone. She told him we were there and ready and had been waiting for 40 mins to sign. Then he lies and says he told our realtor we wouldn't sign till friday. And he lied again because the papers were said to be done at noon that day. Finally he gets is act together and finishes the paper so at 5:30 we signed. And because everything was signed and done we thought the papers would be recored on Friday and we would then be given the keys.

Since this is a downward spiral story, of course it didn't happen. It didn't record on Friday because we had to sign another addendum and it didn't get recorded on time. Thanks again JP! Friday night we found out we weren't moving on Saturday.

We were supposed to sign on Wednesday, get the keys Thursday and move in Saturday. That was the plan. Giving us enough time. We packed all of our stuff throughout last week and just left out the essentials to pack Saturday morning. All of our Kitchen things were packed. Including food because we planned on eating out friday and then moving and unpacking Saturday. I feel bad too because we had friends that were going to help us move and we inconvenienced them. But they were understanding. We transfered our gas, electric, power, trash, TV and internet. Our power is supposed to be turned of tomorrow so tomorrow morning may be interesting. I don't like it when my carefully planned out plans get messed with!

Moral of the story: make sure your loan officer is competent and his name isn't JP.

Hopefully tomorrow (Monday) we will get the keys and we will make the move on Saturday. This whole buying a house thing has been a mess. We were told this kind of mess rarely ever happens. I just wish we would have been told everything was going to be late and we wouldn't be upset.

Tic, tac, ZING

I bought a typewriter. Natalie says it’s because she won’t let me buy a new laptop. And while there is some truth to that statement, that’s not the whole reason I bought a typewriter. It’s beautiful by the way. The typewriter is from around 1951 give a take a year or two. I have wanted a typewriter for awhile now, but I could never find the right one. When I saw this one on KSL it jumped off the page and said “I’m what you’ve been looking for.” A quick jaunt over the freeway and $20 later, I was the proud owner of my new typewriter.

Why did I buy a typewriter you ask? It’s real. Probably 99 percent of our written communication is accomplished by electronic means. Whether we write e-mails, text messages, term papers, or novels, chances are a computer and word processor had a hand in the process. Don’t be mistaken, I love technology. Computers and word processors are monuments to their purpose, to make communication accessible, easy, and efficient. But—and you can call me crazy—I never liked the idea that words are represented by numbers. That just seems perverse. When we stretch our pointer finger from home row to tap the "t" on our keyboard that action initiates a coded response, and computers don’t use alphabetic codes, they use numeric codes. So a "t" is not really a "t" when we strike the button, the "t" is actually 01100100 (totally just made this number up). And I can’t get behind that.

Typewriters are real. Words are created not represented. The "t" that a typewriter produces is an actual "t." Lately I have been thinking a lot about the creative process, how it happens, how to engage in it, and how to cultivate it. Creativity takes force and action; it is anything but a passive thing. So in my overblown meta-free-phor-all mind a typewriter is a good metaphor for the creative process. Creating words with a typewriter requires a few things: metal, ink, and force. A key stroke on a typewriter activates type set in metal tiles that strike against an ink-laden ribbon. That mechanism creates words. Creativity has “metal” and “ink” requirements too, but the most crucial element is the same—force.

My typewriter is awesome. I intend to write letters with it. E-mail is a great way to keep in touch with family and friends, but e-mail is easy to delete and forget. Letters are real. I am going to use my typewriter to create real words to send to real people that I love and care for. I also love the sound of a working typewriter. Next time any of you are over I’ll play a few notes for you and we can get swept away in the cacophonous cadence of creativity.

Ella's Blessing & Friend Reunion

(yes I'm aware of my closed eyes)


(Ella Gholson)

So last sunday was Ella's blessing. I still can't get over that Jordan and Ryan have a baby! Ella is so adorable. so much has changed from 5 years ago.

Lets rewind to 5 years ago. I had met Ryan & Taj in the Galley with Cassie. I then met Amiee at The Nordic through Ryan & Taj. Then right before I had met Amiee I had probably just gone to Tomossitos to get my dinner (to take home) from Josh. This all happened March/April 2004. Then in a few weeks I met Jordan because she moved into my Apt. And her and Ryan were then dating. We all became the bestest of friends that next semester of Summer 04. Of course this photo above of us is missing some key friends, but there is some from the group. We had way too much fun together that summer (my grades speak the truth). And now Ryan and Jordan are married and have a cute little girl. Its so crazy what 5 years can do!

It was really fun spending time with Ryan, Jordan, Ella, Amiee this past weekend. I love my friends. Its just so fun to be with each other. We laugh a lot. I'm pretty sure I have the best friends in the world.

Moving soon

Just to let everyone know, I am being forced to listen to the worlds worst music compilation ever! First it was Eminen, then Nelly, then Metallica (i do like them sometimes), then some sappy R&B song and now a COUNTRY song. My ears are bleeding! Im so annoyed.

Well thats not why I'm posting. I'm posting because I'm really excited to move, to our house! My friend Julie gave me some boxes today which will be a big help. We close on the house in 12 days!!! Josh and I realized last night that we kinda needed to get on the ball with this whole moving thing. We have a big to do list of things to do. It is all very exciting/scary. The Economy freaks me out. But I guess all I can do is roll with it.


This is a picture from our move from Rexburg to UT in Dec 2007.


Things I can't wait for:
1. No more sharing walls with strangers.
2. We get to have a cute baby cat. (I really want 2 baby cats so they can be friends and not resent us when we come home from work all day)
3. 2 words: Washer Dryer. Life will be amazing with these 2 things. I can't tell you how inconvenient it has been for the last 5 years to have to use my/our various apt complex washers.
4. I can display my art and have a space to create
5. I don't have to climb stairs outside of my house.
6. We won't have to make 1 trip from the car with all the heavy grocery bags piled up in our arms because its too cold/hot to make another trip back to the car.
7. I won't have cigaret buts all over outside.
8. Closet/storage space
9. Backyard and front yard with beautiful trees
10. Garage... no shoveling or scraping ice off the car in the morning.
11. We won't have to have white walls if we don't want to.

... and owning a house will be really awesome too.

Just for fun

If you ever wanted to know what you or a loved one would have looked like in the past (say their senior yr. of high school) check out yearbookyourself.com. Its hilarious! Well at least Josh and I thought it was. We had a good steady laugh for about an hour when we visited this site. Joshesof course were more funny then mine. I love how his 90's picture is a replica of a standard Boy Band shot while I look like an extra from 90210 or Saved by the Bell.

I really wanted to do a Tahoe post, but our camera charger has gone MIA. So when we find it, we will post and email pics.

House update: We close on October 22nd!!! Whoo Hooo!!!! So in 3 weeks we will have a house. The only real problem is the garage roof. There are many patches where you can see the sky. We will have to fix that which probably won't happen until the spring. But the rest of the house is all good to go.

Today there was another reason to move. Our water was shut off for 6 hours. The building next to us had a flooding problem so they shut off all the water. I had just barley got out of the shower after they told us they were shutting it off. Josh had't taken a shower yet and therefore had a hygiene breakdown. It was a rough day for him. However im a very glad our building didn't flood or I would have not been a happy renter.

Xeno-fast food possibilites

I haven’t traveled out of the country much. Compared to my older brother Aaron who is in a different country every other week, I haven’t even left my front porch yet. As a teenager I traveled to Japan for a week, when I was 18 I went to Peru with my family, and for my honey moon I explored Mexico. In my admittedly limited travel experience there has always been a single common denominator—McDonald’s. Personally I can’t think of another place I’d want to eat at less. That realization got me to thinking, what would fast food restaurants be like in say England, India, or Russia? The only fast food restaurants I remember seeing were all born in the USA—McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC, and Pizza Hut. Our nation’s culinary ambassadors: a crazed clown, a voyeuristic King, a Coronel that looks like a guy that would have a “The South will rise again” bumper sticker on his model T, and a pizza soaked in a greasy pan (delicious, silky grease). What would an England born fast food restaurant look like? I have a neon sign with “Kippers Kidney Pies” emblazoned in green flashing lights and a cartoon character shepherd with a kidney pie in one hand, a fork in the other, and four teeth left in his ingratiated smile in my mind. That would probably fill a niche market in the States for sure. Or how about from India? I personally love Indian food. Imagine heading out to “Yo-Goa-urt Deserts” after a quick bite at Russian born “Borscht-A-Go-Go.” Nothing like some premium mass-produced bacteria cultures to chase down a hearty dinner of borscht.

I suppose we should be grateful that such venerable eateries as Taco Bell, Carl’s Jr., and Arby’s had their genesis in the good ol’ U S of A. No matter what the rest of the world says about us, they can’t deny the savory ubiquity that American fast food has brought to pass. It’s like America in its benevolence and mercy smothered the world in seven secret herbs and spices. That would explain global warming—how else are we supposed to get that crunchy golden brown exterior? America is a nation of innovation. Henry Ford gave us the assembly line and Ronald McDonald showed us how to use that innovation in a way that actually mattered. Building cars at break neck speed is nice, but I ordered mine with no tomatoes or onions thank you. You’re welcome world.

What are some other fun expatriate fast food restaurant names that you can think of? I personally think “Yo-Goa-gurt Deserts” is pretty fantastic. Think up a name or mascot and leave a comment. The best entry will get a prize (probably just me calling you up and laughing really loud).