Auto bailout—Really?

Reading the business section of the news lately is a lot like reading an obituary filled with people you know. I read the “news” everyday when I have a few minutes at work. Lately I have had to just skip over the business section because it has really begun to bum me out. With headlines like “Office Depot to Close 112 Stores” and “Horsemen of the Apocalypse Spotted Riding GMC’s” my buzz gets harshed pretty quick. Business news headlines should just all read “Bad” until things get better, then they should read “Good.”
That brings me to the current crisis: The auto industry bailout. Are you guys supporting this? The last funny SNL Weekend Update I saw had a segment called “Really?” where they talked about the Wall Street bailout and how lame it was that the CEOs just got a get-out-of-debt free card. I would like to apply that thick sarcastic “Really?” to the current auto industry bailout plan, or as Fox News reports, auto industry “rescue plan.” Rescue plan? Really? Short of Ford, GMC, and Chrysler magically turning into Honda, Toyota, and Subaru—there is no rescue coming. These geniuses of modern capitalism decided to fly on three separate corporate jets to Washington to beg for money they so desperately needed. Really auto industry CEOs? Private multi-million dollar jets? Well played. The bill will more than likely pass and the nation will sigh a collective gasp of relief. A year from now one of the three will be gone (my money's on Chrysler) while the other two try to cannibalize the putrefied remains only to awake one morning with an insatiable appetite for brains and a major accounting problem when they try converting all their American dollars to Japanese Yen. That’s right we are going to have two huge auto industry Japanese zombies on our hands. But hey it’s not like we didn’t pay for the zombies so shoot—it’s all good. I wasn’t in full support of the Wall Street bailout plan, and I’m still skeptical that it will actually work, the auto industry bailout however—totally lame. These three mega-corporations have been operating on a failed business model for decades and now we get to pay for it. Not only did we get shafted by the crap product these guys have been turning out, but now we get to help fund additional crap products. The purpose of the bailout is to save jobs and help buoy up the economy. But come on—throwing billions of dollars at these companies isn’t going to work. They have shown us year after year their complete incompetence in running a business. Look at Ford’s current line-up of vehicles, huge SUV after huge SUV, and then a complete line of gigantic trucks. Ford’s new tag line should be “Built Ford Tough—on your walle...and the environment...and the economy...” I found this ad on AdFreak.com and it’s pretty hilarious. It’s a PG-13 ad so try not to be too offended. Anyway if anyone out there has a good explanation of way the auto plan is a good idea, by all means let me have it. I’m trying to change the headline “$25 Billion Auto Bailout Passed” to “Good.”